Gaara Discovers Christmas
by Dilly-Oh
Summary: The second of the Gaara Discovers fics, in which Gaara is shocked and terrified when he hears word of the sinister 'Santa Claus', who punishes naughty children! Gaara must do all that he can to be put on Santa's nice list and save himself! Review please!


Author's Note: WOOAAAH! I just finished my Naruto Jeopardy and BAM! Inspiration for my next Gaara Discovers fics starts hitting me like Bobby Brown! I wonder why? Oh, well, I can't pass this up! I must write! Hope you like it! Review, please!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Gaara Discovers Christmas

Gaara stood quietly in front of his house. At least, he was _pretty_ sure it was his house. It was quite hard to tell, since it looked so different. He'd only been gone for about half the day, and in that short time it had changed rather drastically. Every available inch of free space on the house had been cluttered and draped with strange, colorful bulbs that emitted bright lights, and green circles made from some kind of tree branches were also pegged up here and there along the sides and front. An even larger one adorned the door, with a red, festive bow. Odd lawn decorations of reindeer were scattered around the yard, and the sparse trees that grew from the hard desert soil had also been strewn with lights. Gaara didn't know what to make of it. He had never seen anything like it before.

Shuffling his feet nervously, Gaara glanced over at the neighboring houses to the left and right just to make sure this truly _was_ his house. Yup, it was. There, on the right, was the house belonging to the nice elderly couple that kept trying to get Gaara to come over for supper so they could force him into marrying one of their many granddaughters. And on the left was the house of the single mother who'd once let him borrow a cup of sugar for Temari and her baking. This was his house, alright. Now if he only knew what the hell had happened to it.

Gaara forced his legs into motion and slowly began approaching the dramatically altered abode. If there were any dangers, he was sure his protective sand barrier would be able to handle it. But then again, it had failed him numerous times when he'd come down again and again with different sicknesses. But what other choice did he have? It was either trek into the unknown or simply stay outside with his stomach growling. Gaara had been looking forward to eating lunch (cooked by Temari, of course, since the only thing Kankuro could make was toast and that didn't really count, and even then he always tended to burn it) all day, and he wasn't going to give up that easily. Besides, he had no idea how long this would last. A day? A week? A month? Better to confront the problem now, rather than hide away, waiting for it to leave.

Reaching the front door, Gaara stared suspiciously at the large green wreath, which had (now that he was closer, and he could see it better) not only a bright red bow, but golden bells on it, too. It smelled sweet, like sap and some kind of tree that he couldn't put his finger on. Probably one not native to the desert. It didn't look particularly dangerous, but still, Gaara slowly extended his arm out and grasped the doorknob with the utmost caution. Gently turning the latch, he quickly slammed open the door in one swift move and all but leapt past the decoration into the house, somersaulting to his feet and spinning around to stare back at his foe.

The green wreath sat there, unmoving save for the soft stirring of its needles due to Gaara's swift passage. Rising from his crouch, Gaara tentatively stretched out his leg and nudged the door closed with his toe. He sighed in relief as the door swung and clicked shut, the wreath disappearing from sight. All was well. Gaara turned around to the hall.

And froze.

Four more wreaths adorned the walls of the hall, glaring menacingly back at him for bypassing their brethren. Gaara gulped as he realized he'd foolishly let his guard down, thinking he'd be safe inside the house. A stupid thought. Of course they were in the house, of course they were lying in wait for him. Gaara weighed his options, mind racing for a battle plan as he kept his eyes glued to the wreaths and their unsuspecting menace.

"Gaara, is that you?" A voice wafted from the living room.

Gaara closed his eyes as he thanked every deity and god he knew for sparing his brother the same fate he was about to suffer. Or perhaps… yes, Kankuro might be able to help him escape his current predicament. With his help, they could defeat this new enemy and drive them back. They could… _wait_… why did Kankuro sound so calm when their house had been taken over by the enemy? Was it a trap? Had he been captured? It couldn't be…

"Kankuro, what's going on?" Gaara asked, trying but failing to contain the panic that surged through his body like wildfire and threatened to overwhelm him.

"What? Nothing's going on, Gaara. Come on over to the living room, I wanna show you something." Kankuro answered from the other room. Gaara stiffened.

"They've _got_ him." He thought to himself in despair. "And they're trying to get me, too. I… I have to do something. I have to fight them." Gaara began inching past the green wreaths, who continued to sit still with their infuriating indifference. "Probably waiting until my back is turned," he thought. Once past them, he whirled around and began walking backwards down the hall to the living room, keeping his eyes glued to his enemy at all times so they had no chance to attack. Once he was at the living room entrance, he turned back around to face his brother.

"Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!"

Gaara's jaw dropped open as Kankuro stood in front of him, a big smile on his face. He'd cast aside his traditional black jumpsuit and instead wore a red and white furry coat with red pants, along with big, black boots and a belt with a shiny buckle. Black mittens covered his hands, and perched atop his head, where his funny black hat would normally be, was a red hat with more white trim and a fluffy pom-pom on the top. Kankuro's face was also clear of any face paint (another oddity), but was obscured by the ridiculous-looking curly fake beard attached to his chin. He was the strangest sight Gaara'd ever seen. And the most frightening.

"Hey, Gaara! Whaddaya think?" Kankuro asked, grinning widely through the beard.

Gaara didn't stop to think. His sand moved like lightning, sweeping up and striking at his brother before he could even blink.

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"What did you expect, scaring him like that? You're lucky he didn't kill you!" Temari chided, applying a band-aid to another of Kankuro's wounds.

"I was just joking around! He didn't have to attack me like that! What's so scary about Santa Claus, anyway?" Kankuro barked back, a bit upset.

Gaara fidgeted nervously off to the side, feeling bad for what he'd done to his brother. In his defense, Kankuro had scared him out of his wits, and he'd acted impulsively, striking out in fear. If not for Temari rushing into the room to call him off, Gaara didn't know how far he would have gone. The thought made him feel even more guilty and uneasy.

"Sorry…" he mumbled.

"Oh, Gaara, don't apologize," Temari replied. "Kankuro's just being a baby again."

"Hey, shut up! You're not the one _bleeding_ here!" Kankuro growled. "You're… you're… one of Santa's ho, ho, hoes!"

"Why you-"

_Smack_!

Gaara winced as the sand-sibling brawl began, with Temari going all out with slaps and punches while Kankuro was just trying to keep her at bay. Time to break it up.

"Who's Santa?"

Both siblings froze in mid-swing and looked at Gaara in surprise.

"You… don't know who Santa is? _Seriously_?" Temari asked in disbelief. Gaara slowly shook his head no. Her eyes widened. "No way! How could you not have heard of Santa?"

"You're forgetting he used to be a psychopath who killed random people so he could prove his existence," Kankuro pointed out from his seat beneath Temari's torso. She had been sitting on him to keep him still and assaulting him with punches until he would apologize for what he'd said about her being a ho. "I guess this is my cue, huh?"

"…Fine. I'll let you off the hook this time." Temari grumbled, clambering off her brother and giving him one final kick. "But don't you dare call me that again!"

"Why couldn't we have gotten a cool older brother?" Kankuro lamented, picking himself up off the floor and dusting off his red and white coat. His merry red hat was also askew and he'd lost his curly white beard. He adjusted his mittens and looked over at Gaara. "Well, you ready to listen and learn about jolly ol' Saint Nick?"

Gaara nodded, eager to learn everything about his newfound enemy.

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"…and so every year, on Christmas Eve, like today, the day before Christmas, Santa Claus goes around every night and gives all the good little girls and boys presents." Kankuro finished, looking pleased with himself. "Now do you understand? Not so scared anymore, huh?"

Gaara stared back at Kankuro like he was insane. Not scared anymore? No, he wasn't. He was abso-freakin'-lutely _terrified_ of this man! Not only did he know where you slept and whether you'd been bad or good, he also crept into your house like a burglar every year and ate all your cookies and milk?! This man was a nightmare! He knew everything about everybody! There was nothing you could hide! He-

Gaara's heart nearly stopped as he realized what a horrible position he was in. He'd been naughty this year. Very, very naughty indeed. Granted, since the help from Naruto he'd been doing better, but he'd killed innocent people and attempted to take down the good village of Konoha during the Chunnin exams. If anyone was going to be punished for being bad that year by Santa, it was definitely him.

"What…" Gaara's voice faltered, but he forced himself to continue. "What does Santa do… to the bad girls and boys?"

"Weeeell," Kankuro pondered, stroking the curly beard he'd found and reattached to his face. "He kills them, of course!"

"_Naaaugh_!" Gaara leapt up and flew to his room in a blur of red, bolting up the stairs and slamming the door shut tightly after him, followed by several loud clicks as he firmly locked it closed.

"I was… just joking." Kankuro called weakly, feeling a bit bad. "Oh, well, Gaara's a smart kid. He probably won't take it seriously."

"I'm gonna die!" Gaara whispered fiercely, pacing his room like a frightened animal. "That Santa bastard is going to come get me, because I did all those horrible things! What can I do? Should I run for it?" He paused and looked out the window, over the undulating sand dunes and the piercing rays of the sun. "No. He'll catch me for sure. Kankuro said he delivers presents to all the good girls and boys in the whole world in one night, so it'll be a cinch to catch up to me. There's no point in running. What else?" He began pacing again, mind churning for answers. "Maybe… maybe I can wait until he comes, then ambush and kill _him_! Yes, that sounds good!" He smirked in triumph, but frowned soon after. "But… that wouldn't be fair for everyone else… they wouldn't get any presents, and it'd be all my fault… that's even worse than what I did before…"

He sighed heavily and collapsed on his bed. He was doomed, with no escape. Perhaps he'd better just lay there and wait for his imminent demise.

_Knock, knock!_

"Gaara, are you in there? Can I come in?" Temari asked through the door.

"It sure would be easier to accept my fate if others wouldn't stop interrupting me," Gaara stated into his pillow. Raising his head, he looked toward the door, his sand moving to unlock the many bolts he'd turned. "Come in."

Temari gently opened the door and peeked in, spotting Gaara looking up dismally from the bed.

"Gaara! What's wrong? …What did Kankuro do this time?" A glint in her eye promised a punch specially made for the middle child.

"It's… it's… it's nothing, Temari. Kankuro didn't do anything." Gaara assured, then blinked as he realized that perhaps his sister could give him a suggestion as to what to do to save his eternally damned soul. "Um… Temari? If… if you had done something really bad to some people and you wanted to make up for it… what would you do?"

Temari regarded him with a wondering look, but crossed her arms and gave it some thought.

"Me, huh? Well…" She bit her lip and tapped her toe, thinking. "I'd probably just get them a nice gift."

"A gift? That's it? How would-" Gaara's mouth snapped shut as it hit him. It was so simple… he only had to… "Thanks, Temari. I'll… be gone for a little while, okay?" He got up and began rifling through his belongings as he prepared himself for his newest mission. Temari watched in confusion, but shrugged in acceptance.

"Okay, just don't be late for supper."

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Gaara's plan of action was quite simple. To show his friends (and Santa Claus, too, the spying manipulative a-hole) that he truly was sorry for all that he'd done, he'd give every one of them a heartfelt present for Christmas. Figuring out what to give everyone was easy, but obtaining the items would prove to be a challenge all in itself.

But first things first. A suitable disguise was needed. Gaara couldn't go parading around in public throwing gifts around, now could he? No, he'd take a much sneakier, stealthy approach. And the disguise, he knew, would be perfect. Luckily Kankuro had changed back into his traditional black jumpsuit, since it was quite hot in the Sand village and he didn't feel like passing out from heatstroke. Poking through his brother's closet, Gaara quickly found what he'd been searching for.

The Santa Claus outfit.

It was a bit big, and hard to maneuver around in, but once he'd cinched the belt as tight as it would go, it was a little better and not so cumbersome. The red hat was also too large and kept slipping over his eyes and obscuring his vision, but it would have to do. Next was the beard. It had hooks that went over the ears to keep it attached, and Gaara had to stop himself from sneezing several times as the white, curly hairs tickled his nose.

Looking at himself in the mirror, Gaara was happy to see that he was quite unrecognizable in the furry suit, which was exactly what he wanted. Sure, his eyes pretty much gave it away, but the hat, thankfully, cast a shadow over his face, which hid them from view. Gaara was ready. Let the gift-giving begin!

His brother and sister were first on his list. Kankuro's gift was easy – a black, pointed hat to replace the one Gaara'd vomited in when he'd gotten the flu and hadn't had a bowl near him. Gaara had been meaning to replace the one he'd ruined for a while, and now was a perfect opportunity. He wrapped it up in black wrapping paper (Kankuro's favorite color, with a big "Sorry about the last one" written with white pen on the front) and left it in his room where he'd be sure to see it. Now for Temari.

After some thought, Gaara knew exactly what to get for her. The only problem was actually getting it. Several signatures and phone calls later, Gaara received a (struggling) package on his doorstep. Peeking inside, he saw a very irritated-looking Nara Shikamaru, gagged and trussed up with thick ropes and a red bow on his head. Perfect.

"This counts as your present, too," Gaara told him as he shoved him into Temari's closet. Well, that was it for his siblings. Time for his friends in Konoha.

The trip was a bit long, but was shortened by using his protective cloud of sand as a carpet and flying through the air to the neighboring village. Upon arrival, Gaara alighted on a rooftop to gather his bearings and plan his first course of action. Adjusting the large sack of presents he had thrown over his shoulder, Gaara caught sight of Naruto's apartment building and decided to start there.

Naruto's present was obvious. Ten large family-size ramen containers, not wrapped since Naruto probably wouldn't want anything to slow down access to his favorite food. Now on to the next.

Sakura's present was a pair of Sasuke's boxers, which Gaara loathed to remember how he came into possessing. He was sure she would enjoy her present, anyway. Kiba and Akamaru received a box of Kibble's n' Bits, while Chouji got special, limited edition Extra Spicy Potato Chips only found in the Sand Village. For Sasuke, Gaara first thought of getting him a personality (a ha ha) but then thought twice, since he didn't really feel like getting into a fight with the child genius, so he settled with the book he'd found - "_10 Ways to Kill Your Older Brother_". Neji got a new brush for his immaculate hair, and Rock Lee a collection of Bruce Lee Hong-Kong flicks. Shino's gift was a rare beetle indigenous to the desert, and Tenten's was a book on strong women. Ino got beauty products. Gaara hoped she wouldn't take them as a hint and start bugging him.

Gaara sighed contentedly, his heart feeling lighter than it ever had before. Perhaps now the evil Father Christmas would forgive him his sins and not come kill him during the night. He glanced down at his list of recipients for presents and crossed the last name off the list. Was that everyone? Had he forgotten someone? No, he was pretty sure he hadn't. Good. Now time to head back home. Gaara smiled softly and prepared to leave.

And froze as soft crying met his ears. Peeking over his shoulder, he saw a teary-eyed Hinata sitting on a bench oblivious to the cold.

"Crap!" Gaara cursed to himself. "I forgot about her! She's just so quiet and shy, I didn't do it to be mean! I just… forgot! Damn. _Think_. No presents left. But I have to give her something… dang it!" He turned and stared at her for several seconds. She continued crying, not knowing he was there. "I'll… just try to cheer her up or something. Maybe she'll tell me something she'd like…" He quietly walked over and tapped her shoulder.

"O-oh! Who… Gaara! What are you doing here? And why are you dressed like that?" Hinata gasped in surprise and attempted to hide the fact that she'd been crying. It didn't work. Silvery tracks left by tears shone on her face, made clear from the lamplight. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she was sniffling. It made Gaara hurt inside to see her like that.

"What's wrong, Hinata?" He asked. She bit her lip, sniffled and few times, and fiddled with her fingers a little.

"I-I tried to get N-Naruto to come under the m-mistletoe with me…" she explained. "But… he only w-wanted to kiss Sakura… ooh!" She started crying again, shamefully covering her face with her hands. Gaara blinked in confusion and thought back to what Kankuro had taught him about Christmas. Yes… he remembered the lecture about mistletoes. If you got caught under one with a person of the opposite sex, you were forced to kiss that person. Not exactly Gaara's cup of tea. He made a mental note to avoid Ino if he ever was in close proximity to any mistletoes. But that had nothing to do with what was going on now.

"Hinata." The dark-haired konoichi lifted her head and squinted up at Gaara in confusion. He shuffled his feet nervously, a bit afraid, then quickly leaned in and gave her a soft peck on the cheek. Her eyes flew wide open and she jumped up in surprise.

"G-Gaara!" She flushed bright pink and clapped hands over her mouth, staring at him in shock. Gaara was beginning to think he'd done something horribly wrong when she smiled warmly at him, still blushing brightly. "Thank you!" She whirled around and ran off into the night. Gaara stared after her, wondering if this really had happened. Due to the heated feeling of his own face, it most probably had. Perhaps it was just the beard. Or perhaps not.

Gaara set off for the Sand village, feeling warm to his toes for some reason he couldn't quite place. It was quite dark by that time, but Temari had said they would be having a late supper, so he was pretty sure he would still make it on time. He only hoped this would get psycho-Santa off his back.

Landing gracefully in front of his house, Gaara's breath was stolen away at the beauty of it, glowing with hundreds of different colors in the blackness of the house. Looking up and down the street, he saw other, similarly decorated houses also alight with color, but he found himself feeling especially proud of his own. Perhaps his siblings would let him help decorate next year… it could prove to be fun.

Walking to the door, Gaara fearlessly reached a hand past the green wreath and swung the door open. Striding in, he shut the door and marched smartly past the other four wreaths, having overcome his fear of them now and seeing them as quite pretty. He breathed in deeply as wonderful smells emanated from the kitchen, meaning Temari was at work with supper.

Gaara quickly pulled off the fake beard, red hat, and the rest of the Santa suit, stuffing it into the nearby broom closet and promising himself to return it to its rightful owner in due time. Underneath he'd been wearing his normal clothes and sandals, and was thankful to get out of the sweltering costume. Running a hand through his hair to ensure its spiky-ness, Gaara kicked the broom closet door shut and walked into the living room.

"_Merry Christmas!"_

Gaara stood speechless as all his friends from Konoha, as well as his brother and sister, sang out their Christmas welcome as soon as he entered. A roaring fire blazed in the hearth, and an enormous evergreen tree stood in the corner, decorated with tinsel and ornaments. His friends were all sprawled on the floor and couch with large smiles on their faces.

"What… what are you all doing here?" Gaara asked weakly once he finally remembered how to speak.

"Come on! Like we wouldn't come after you gave us such kick-ass presents!" Naruto declared, slurping up ramen from a large container.

"Oh, please! That's you last one, Naruto!" Sakura hollered, smacking Naruto on the head. "Thanks for Sasuke's boxers, Gaara!"

"My _what_?!" Sasuke's head whipped around in surprise.

"Yeah, thanks!"

"Thank you!"

"Thanks, man!"

Gaara couldn't help but smile as he was showered in gratitude. It was one of the greatest feelings in the world. He blushed as he caught sight on Hinata, sitting quietly on the couch. Well, maybe not the greatest…

"I wasn't sure if Santa would get you all what you wanted, so…" he shrugged helplessly as everyone laughed.

"Ha ha! That's a good one! Like Santa's _real_!" Naruto hooted, slapping his leg with mirth.

"What?"

"Gaara, come on!" Kankuro grinned, stuffing his mouth with a popcorn ball. "You didn't actually believe me when I told you all that Santa stuff, now did you? Santa Claus is something parents tell their little kids about, to trick them! He's not real!"

Gaara stared silently at Kankuro for several second, debating whether he should kill his brother right then and there or wait for later. He decided now was a good time.

"You have a ten-second head start." Gaara said, voice soft with danger. Kankuro's grin ran off his face like water over glass as he realized his brother wasn't joking. Dropping his plate of sweets, he bolted toward the front door with all hast and scrambled out, slamming it closed behind him. Everyone stood still as they heard his footsteps fade away as he ran for his life. Gaara smiled and simply snatched up another popcorn ball and took a bite from it.

"Aren't you gonna go get him?" Temari asked, hugging Shikamaru close, who seemed to have gotten over the kidnapping incident and looked quite content.

"Nope." Gaara sat down on the floor with his friends. "Let's see how far he runs before he realizes I'm not chasing him."

The End

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Author's Note: Whoo! That took me a little while. I didn't start out making it a Gaara Hinata thingy, it just went off on it's own! I'm not even good at writing mushy stuff! Ah, well. Hope you liked it anyway. Now on to my Escaflowne episodes! Good day to you! Oh, and although it's a little late, Merry Christmas!


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